274. Where we Learn Most.

Reading and study are very important but where we really learn the most is from those around us.

273. General Negotiations.

Work together to defeat a problem rather than the other side. Focus on the various interests involved, not the positions. Try to reconcile the interests with each other - look for win-win outcomes.

When people take a position, try to find out why. Detect the interest behind the position. What other interests underlie the position ?

If one party wants the window open (position) for fresh air (interest) while the other wants it closed (position) to avoid the draught (interest), then the reconciliation or solution that meets all the interests is to open the window in the other room.

You can have a lot of fun practicing this exercise.

Desires and concerns are interests. Interests motivate people. Positions are things that one decides upon. This is a vital distinction.

Behind opposed positions lie shared as well as conflicted interests. Find the shared ones. Very often, when you look to the interests, new positions arise that are compatible. Alternatives emerge. The obvious position is never the only one and rarely is it the wisest.

In the case of a landlord and tennant, the shared interests are :

1. Both want stability.
2. Both want a well maintained property.
3. Both want a good relationship.

272. Negotiating with Strangers and Enemies.

When negotiating with strangers or enemies, work at quickly turning them into friends. This makes negotiation easier. Get to know them. Find out their likes and dislikes. Ask to borrow a certain one of their books. (This will flatter them.) but make sure to read it before you return it (in case you are questioned on it later.) And make sure you do return it !

271. The "I" Statement and Negotiation.

When entering into negotiations, "I" statements are very difficult for the other side to challenge. If you make a statement about them that they disagree with or believe to be untrue, such as "You are a racist.", they will either ignore you or become angry. If, on the other hand, you say "I find that racist.", you are forcing them to engage with your position.

In negotiations, speak only for a purpose. Always know what you want to communicate or to find out before you speak. When you want to know something, always be clear in your mind what purpose the information will serve.

270. Adding Wisdom

Being wise and becoming wiser are more to do with reducing than with adding. Wherever possible, eliminate ornamentation and grow ever simpler. Hack away the unnecessary and allow the truth to be revealed without obstruction. Learn to shed the layers. Learn to let go of overly complicated ideas and models.

269. Strength and Gentleness

Strength, though used in a refined way, is necessary in combat. Learn also, to move back and forth like the bamboo in order to dissolve the strong winds. Neither gentleness nor strength (firmness) alone is enough. It is the two fitted together that form the Way.

268. Bluffing.

It is the function of bluff and bluffing to redress the balance between one's own inadequacies and the other man's superiority and as this cannot be done in actuality, but only by psychological means which are independent of tangible resources, it is a weapon peculiarly suited to a man who is on the run.

267. Training in the Martial Arts

The main principle of training is this :

If you do not consider a few minutes' training worthwhile and if you think the chance of being assaulted is small, then you are one of those people people who encourage thugs to attack. No-one will be able to help you should an emergency arise.

Strength, though used in a refined way, is necessary in combat. Learn also to move back and forth like the bamboo in order to dissolve the strong wind of the attack.

Neither gentleness nor firmness alone is enough. It is the two fitted together that form the Way.

266. Alertness

At all times be alert, even when "off duty". Be like a submarine in peacetime - a submarine is always at war.

When walking anywhere, do not daydream. Feel your feet on the ground and keep your listening large. Keep an eye out for those who might be following you or lying in wait for you. Listen for approaching footsteps and watch for shadows.

Keep to the outside of the footpath or the centre of a lane. This maximises the amount of ground the opponent has to cover in order to reach you, gaining you valuable reaction time.

The success of an assailant's attack depends on surprise. So if you are sufficiently alert to neutralise the surprise, your counter will be very successful.

If you detect an attack, you can make plenty of noise and concentrate on doing damage. Noise demoralises your opponent. In Martial Arts, this is known as the Ki or Qi shout.

When attacked, immediately apply your most powerful and effective weapon to the most vulnerable point that is exposed on the opposition's body. Be ruthless.

265. Pain as the Spur to a Counter-attack

When, in combat, your opponent breaks through your defense, and lands a blow, you will feel pain. Pain is your friend. It is essential to ignore the negative aspect of pain (the fact that it hurts like hell) and instead of giving up, use it as a spur to your counter-attack.

In the psychology of an assault, your attacker only thinks of causing you damage, and rarely, if ever thinks of what you may do. When you launch an effective counter-attack, you will cut down his ego by 50%. Follow up immediately and get busy to finish the fight...hard.

264. The Wonder of the Ordinary

Dan Millman once said "There are no ordinary moments." Always value the wonder of the ordinary - to see the world in a grain of sand. Work on letting go. Hack away the inessential to reveal the Truth. Proper cultivation runs to simplicity while half-way cultivation runs to ornamentation. Study the arts of Ikebana - Japanese flower arranging and Bonsai to help with this practice.

Do not strain yourself (distort yourself) by twisting to conform to someone else's pre-conceived pattern.

263. Conservation of Energy

Do not waste your energy gratuitously. Over-exertion and over-development of muscles and organs are detrimental to your health. Rather you should seek to conserve your energy; always be moderate without going to extremes.

Let your movements in exercise be harmonious. Begin with Meditation, then a round or two of Tai Chi. Fit your movements harmoniously to your "opponent."

Learn to cultivate the art of detachment. Learn to not interfere but to follow the natural curves of things.

Let the thoughts you have and the emotions you feel when in front of an opponent pass like the reflection of a bird on still water.

Let not your feelings be sticky or blocked.

Accept yourself and go with your nature, not against it.

262. Self-Sufficiency

Devote yourself to becoming self-reliant and self-sufficient. You must never rely on the external rating of others for your happiness. Remember that Happiness is the journey, not the destination.

Hold yourself in reserve. Be quiet and unassuming without the least desire to show off.

261. Pride

Pride is a false sense of worth that derives from something that is not organically part of your Self. It comes from Ahankara - the identification by the mind of your Self with some external thing in the Creation. It gives emphasis to the superiority of a person's status in the eyes of others. There is fear and insecurity in pride because when you aim for status and being highly esteemed and achieve it, you are automatically involved in fear of losing that status. Protection of status then appears to you to be your most important need and this creates anxiety. Pride is very different from self-respect. All respect, including self-respect, springs from knowledge and memory of the Self and your origins and home in the Self. The less you are grounded in the Self, the more imperative is the need for pride. One is proud when he identifies with the ego. The core of pride is Self-rejection.

260. Doing and Attention Seekers. Extremes of Greediness

The world is full of people who are determined to be somebody or to give trouble; they seek attention. Do not become one of them.

One who tries to stand on tip-toe cannot stand still.
One who stretches his legs too far cannot walk.
One who advertises himself too much is ignored.
One who is too insistent on his own view finds few to agree with him.
One who claims too much credit does not get even what he deserves.
One who is too proud is soon humiliated.

These are rightly condemned as extremes of greediness and self-destructive activity, therefore, one who acts naturally avoids such extremes.

259. Unity, Non-Interference

Do not interfere with your own actions (self-sabotage). Lose yourself by giving up all subjective notions of the separate individual and become one with your opponent. Inside your mind allow all oppositions to become mutually co-operative. Yield to the power of the Self. Avoid doing, acting, striving, straining, trying or busyness. Adopt a supple attitude and from rest, allow all actions to take place without interfering. Study well the two Chinese texts, I Ching and Tao Te Ching

258. The Non-Stopping Mind

In combat (life) allow your mind to concentrate by not allowing it to stop anywhere. If you block, follow up immediately with your counters; Do not allow the space to develop that would give your opponent the chance to strike you. Remain aware of the whole field of action. Where there are multiple attackers, as soon as you have disposed of one, move immediately on to the next one without permitting the mind (and therefore the body) to stop. This is only possible when the mind is not permitted to stop for anything. Then all opponents will be dealt with in succession.

The mind is present everywhere because it is attached nowhere to any particular object. Even when relating to this or that object, it does not cling to it. Allow your flow of thought to be like water filling a pond - it is ready to move off again. It can work powerfully because it is free. It is open to everything brcause it is empty, like a tidy desk.

This is what is meant by Serene Reflection, it is the vivid and clear awareness that comes out of the tranquility of no thought.

257. Non-Attachment

A quiet and calm mind is important; beyond that, it is essential that the mind seeks not to grasp anything, that it does not place a claim of any kind on anything. Let your mind be employed as a mirror, grasping nothing, refusing nothing, receiving everything and keeping nothing for itself.

256. Mind Over Matter

As the mind is in control of the body, everything that affects the mind has a stronger influence on the body than those things that affect only the body. Every conflicting centre, every extraneous disrupting, decentralising emotion jars the natural rhythm and reduces a man's efficiency. Mark well the emotions that destroy the inner rhythms of a man and avoid them at all costs. They are :

* Jealousy
* Hatred
* Lust
* Envy
* Pride
* Vanity
* Covetousness
* Anger
* Fear

They are also known as Deadly Sins.

Keep your mind agile and free and work to eliminate all these negative emotions from your character.

255. Yin and Yang and The Law of Harmony

The basic principle of Tai Chi is that nothing is so permanent as to never change. The two "opposing" forces of Yin and Yang are really mutually interdependent. Be in harmony with your opponent's strength and force. This is the Law of Harmony. Do nothing that is not natural or spontaneous. Do not strain in any way.

254. The Law of Non-Interference

The Law of Non-Interference with Nature teaches us not to resist your opponent but to defeat him by yielding to him and then using his own strength to defeat him. This is the principle on which Judo is based. When being attacked, do not resist but control the attack (by means of your decoys) and swing with it. This is what is meant by the expressions, "Don't push the river." and "Go with the flow."

253. Wisdom from the Martial Arts

"I cannot teach you; only help you to exolore yourself. Nothing more." -Bruce Lee.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/23744/bruce_lee_lost_interview/ 

http://www.brucelee.com/ 

262. Right Study

Learn to study and read in a state of quiet, choiceless awareness. Then you will find that you are not working or struggling to master something but instead you are visiting an old friend.

261. Know Thyself

Never miss the opportunity to let a fact, event or situation teach you more about yourself. Learn to turn your intellectual learning inward and make it a tool for self-cultivation.

260. On Immortality

"The energy of the soul is never extinguished with the passing of the physical body." - Linda Lee Cadwell.

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004791/ 

http://www.squidoo.com/linda-lee 

259. Being Ahead of your Time

"If someone is merely ahead of time, it will catch him up one day." - Ludwig Wittgenstein.

It is very common for creative people to be far ahead of their time and consequently, to be misunderstood.


http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/wittgenstein/