168. Credit Cards

Beware of Credit Cards. If you owe €2,000 on your card and the interest rate is 19.5% and you only pay the minimum amount, it will take you 41 years to pay it off ! Credit cards are unsecured and the most expensive product a bank will sell you. More expensive still are store cards, their interest rate is 29%, minimum.

Only ever use a credit card as a payment mechanism rather than a method of borrowing. This means that you should use your card when out and about but make sure that you pay it off in full and on time within the month. This eliminates or minimises the interest charge and avoids the late payment fee.

Never pay Payment Protection Insurance on your card. THIS IS A SCAM. PPI raises the effective interest by 7% and it only pays out the minimum payment - NOT THE FULL BALANCE and then only covers you for 1 year. In addition, the charges are added each month to your credit card balance, increasing the principal.

Credit cards are a very dangerous weapon used by the system against you. They are designed to keep you poor. If you must have one be very careful how much you spend on it and do try to have a 0% one. Beware of these too, as the interest-free period expires after 6 or 9 months.

Even better than a credit card, have an American Express or Diners Club catd. These are charge cards and must be cleated in full every month.

A debit card (laser) is even better because it only allows you to access funds that you already have. With these, there is no element of borrowing unless you use it to run up your overdraft.

Generally speaking, credit cards are extremely dangerous brcause they are the fastest way into big, big debt. You should treat them as you would a loaded gun or a fully primed Mills bomb.

167. Stick to the Truth

Stick to the truth. The Human Mind is a truth-seeking mechanism. Do not distort Reality and you will not go wrong. You will have integrity and unity. Your mind will be sane, calm and healthy.

166. Setting Boundaries

When you set boundaries, you keep other people's problems out of your life.This is being responsible and happy rather than being responsible and miserable.Taking responsibility does not automatically lead to misery. By setting your boundaries you are taking responsibility for yourself and teaching others to do the same for themselves.

In the spiritual world, your boundaries are always real but often intangible. They can increase your love and save your life. Such boundaries define your soul and help you to guard and maintain it.

Know your boundaries. Define what is me and what is not me. Know what things you take responsibility for and what things you don't. This gives you freedom and opens up more options for you, more choices.

Learn your parameters (boundaries) and keep them clear in your mind. Do not become confused. Write them down. Remember that you are not responsible for other people. You do not control THEIR behaviour and it is a waste of energy to seek to do so.

"Cast not your pearls before swine." Boundaries keep your pearls inside and the pigs outside. Boundaries guard your heart and your treasures. Your boundaries should have "gates" in them in order to let in the good and let out the bad. You should consciously control the traffic through these gates.

Basic boundary maintenance requires that you clear about your Yes and your No. No is the most powerful tool in your boundary building chest.
No is confrontational.
No sets limits.
No prevents abuse.
No is powerful.
No is used in self-defense,

When asked, do not give reluctantly or under compulsion. Give generously with an open heart or do not give at all.

Your words let people know where you stand. If you do not like the way you are being treated, look at the words you are using. People will treat you the way you teach them to treat you.

165. Responsibility

Take responsibility. You must always take 100% responsibility for yourself, your actions, decisions, failures etc. You are not responsible for other (adult) people. In any relationship you are 50% responsible. You must live up to your half always. This is what it means to take ownership of your life.

"To do the duty of another is fraught with danger." -The Bhagavad Gita. When you take on the responsibility of the work of another you are on the road to burn-out. You are training the other to shirk his obligations and you are leaving yourself open to attack and lawsuits if something were to go wrong. Mind your own business !

Being responsible has two faces :
1. You are responsible FOR yourself.
2. You are responsible TO others.

Being responsible for yourself means dealing with your feelings, attitudes and behaviours so that they become ever more supportive of your needs and your obligations. Know where the limits are.

Being responsible to others means helping them to do what they cannot do for themselves and ensuring that you treat them with absolute fairness.

If you take on large burdens and try to do it all by yourself, as if this were a part of your normal load then you will be crushed by the burden. Then you will be of no use to yourself or to anyone else. (Irresponsible).

If you act as though your normal duties and responsibilities were someone else's duty, then you are being irresponsible in the other direction.

The penalty for being irresponsible is that you do not have any control of the consequences and you might very well not like how things turn out.

Being responsible does not mean that everything that goes wrong for you is your fault. Responsibility is defined as the ability to respond. You are responsible for how you respond i.e. what your next action will be and for how you interpret the experience but not necessarily the cause of the experience itself.

If you attribute the causes of bad things to yourself your energy drops and the effect on you is Negative. If you externalise it, your energy rises and the effect on you is Positive.

Warning : Others will often try to get you to attribute blame to yourself in an attempt to externalise their responsibilities. This is called laying a guilt trip on you.

Rejections etc., are specific occurances and you shouldn't interpret them as having any long lasting or global significance. The past does not equal the future and if you have done your best (be honest here), then they are not your fault.

The ability to respond means the ability to speak and act effectively and intelligently and not simply react in a knee-jerk fashion.

164. Being Nice & Being Polite.

Being nice out of fear doesn't work, ever. Be nice and be polite because that's who you are and only for that reason. A common thing to happen is that people of a lower order of development often mistake your good manners for weakness and then try to take advantage of you. The first line of your defense is to be aware of this phenomenon and be alert for the signs that you are about to be taken advantage of. The second line is to be polite but firm. The third is to state your position bluntly, without grace or favour and be willing to fight for your rights. Very often you will need to let people know that you are not to be trifled with by using such expressions as "Do you think I should have my solicitor present ?" or "I am not sure who's right here perhaps we should call the police don't you think ?" Always refer these matters to the next level up.

163. Try Smarter

Trying harder doesn't always work. Sometimes you just have to try smarter.

162. Survival

"Survival is important because to survive is the ability to start again." - Winston Churchill
While it is important to survive, don't settle for mere survival. Work on designing your life, not simply making a living. Basic study of the Martial Arts will enable you to survive but dedicated study will make you a warrior.

162. Politics are a Foul Business

Winston Churchill once said "Politics are foul - too foul for words." Yet that is where he made his career. This just shows the strength of his character. He was able to work in a foul environment because he knew he was doing good work.