531. Doing What is Right

You need to develop and maintain a strong sense of the difference between doing what is right and fair and those things that you merely feel like doing.

383. Inexplicable Behaviour

Whenever someone appears to act against their own interests, it could be because they no longer care or it could be a desire (conscious or unconscious) to fail or it could simply be attention seeking.

273. General Negotiations.

Work together to defeat a problem rather than the other side. Focus on the various interests involved, not the positions. Try to reconcile the interests with each other - look for win-win outcomes.

When people take a position, try to find out why. Detect the interest behind the position. What other interests underlie the position ?

If one party wants the window open (position) for fresh air (interest) while the other wants it closed (position) to avoid the draught (interest), then the reconciliation or solution that meets all the interests is to open the window in the other room.

You can have a lot of fun practicing this exercise.

Desires and concerns are interests. Interests motivate people. Positions are things that one decides upon. This is a vital distinction.

Behind opposed positions lie shared as well as conflicted interests. Find the shared ones. Very often, when you look to the interests, new positions arise that are compatible. Alternatives emerge. The obvious position is never the only one and rarely is it the wisest.

In the case of a landlord and tennant, the shared interests are :

1. Both want stability.
2. Both want a well maintained property.
3. Both want a good relationship.