166. Setting Boundaries

When you set boundaries, you keep other people's problems out of your life.This is being responsible and happy rather than being responsible and miserable.Taking responsibility does not automatically lead to misery. By setting your boundaries you are taking responsibility for yourself and teaching others to do the same for themselves.

In the spiritual world, your boundaries are always real but often intangible. They can increase your love and save your life. Such boundaries define your soul and help you to guard and maintain it.

Know your boundaries. Define what is me and what is not me. Know what things you take responsibility for and what things you don't. This gives you freedom and opens up more options for you, more choices.

Learn your parameters (boundaries) and keep them clear in your mind. Do not become confused. Write them down. Remember that you are not responsible for other people. You do not control THEIR behaviour and it is a waste of energy to seek to do so.

"Cast not your pearls before swine." Boundaries keep your pearls inside and the pigs outside. Boundaries guard your heart and your treasures. Your boundaries should have "gates" in them in order to let in the good and let out the bad. You should consciously control the traffic through these gates.

Basic boundary maintenance requires that you clear about your Yes and your No. No is the most powerful tool in your boundary building chest.
No is confrontational.
No sets limits.
No prevents abuse.
No is powerful.
No is used in self-defense,

When asked, do not give reluctantly or under compulsion. Give generously with an open heart or do not give at all.

Your words let people know where you stand. If you do not like the way you are being treated, look at the words you are using. People will treat you the way you teach them to treat you.